Getting Crunk

I have to say that alcohol is an enigma to me some times. Biologically speaking, it is toxic for our bodies. Scripturally speaking, Jesus turned water into wine. That was supposed to be a good thing.

There is sort of a dualism within Christian/Catholic circles. Some are more on the, hmm, what's the word, maybe conservative...well, I'll stick with that... Some are more on the conservative side and say 'no alcohol at all.'

There are others, on the opposite end of the spectrum that say God created alcohol and it is very good. Some are boarder line alcoholics and even attribute this to their Catholic heritage.

I think this is again one of those situations where we can apply the moral maxim of 'Virtue is in the Middle'.

I've been thinking about this more because I have been drinking more. No, I don't think I'm drowning my sorrows. But, I have spent more on alcohol in the last 6 months than I have the rest of my life. This is making me worry a little.

Good stewardship says that I should spend my money wisely. This is a fine line for me because I tend to be overly scrupulous in the realm of thriftiness. That's one issue.

The other issue is just putting myself in danger for alcoholism. There has been some family history in that area. I don't think I'm near that point yet, but I want to be careful. Sometimes I feel like it's taking over a little.

The question is whether or not it really is or if I'm just being scrupulous.

(What I'm talking about here is not actually getting 'crunk' but drinking in a moderate manner)

I'm not feeling it...

It's been a long weekend. I spent it with a wonderful friend who I don't see very often. We worked the whole weekend until this afternoon. Then we went to Mass at the Cathedral. I was pretty drained from working intensely for a couple of days and so was she. However, after Mass she was PUMPED just about God and Life. Now, for her, this isn't all that new. She's an intense individual who is very joyful. I, on the other hand, was not too pumped. I remained pretty lame, tired and such.

This made me think. They were talking about being so full of Joy. This was evident without their comments. But, my point is that I haven't felt that in a long time. And you know what...that sucks...

I am tempted whenever I think about this. I'm tempted to be prideful and think that because I'm holy I can take it. Which, clearly is not the case. I'm also tempted towards dispair.

Both of these temptations are obviously gravely disordered. It is still difficult.

Right now, we're at her apartment and several of us are singing praise songs. She just said that "St. Gianna said that if we have Jesus in our hearts, we will bear Joy." This is probably true. I've been running for a while. It's time to head back. I don't know how.

Getting It Done

It is often so difficult to get things done. There are too many distractions around to allow for concentration. I often find myself looking back on a block of several hours having accomplished nothing while feeling like I 'worked' basically the whole time. In reality, I just thought about trying to start working and got distracted over and over again.

I think the remedy, or at least part of it, is to lead a more balanced life.

"Virtue is in he middle." I believe St. Thomas Aquinas said something along those lines. I quote that line a lot and apply it to many situations to which it may not accurately apply. This may be one of those situations.

The remedy is keeping each aspect of my life balanced, that is, in the middle. This way there is room for everything that is necessary and good AND nothing dominates disproportionately. When that domination happens, eventually an overload occurs and those blocks of several hours, as mentioned above, begin to disappear for no good reason.

Instead of toiling/worrying away almost aimlessly in an ineffective way, I could have prayed, exercised and had a one on one conversation in the time that I wasted and I would be much better off.

I know this, but, as it is with many things, that knowledge is usually is not enough to break me out of the bad habit. I've become somewhat of a workaholic where I used to be a professional slacker.

Work is good, but not that good. If anyone has suggestions on how to improve the balance in my life please feel free to comment.

Dawn Eden Talk

Dawn Eden is speaking in D.C. later this month. If you're around, check her out. She has a great message and a different and refreshing approach from others. I'm a fan.

Also check out her book 'Thrill of the Chaste"

- bank sort code checker

Sin Sucks

How is it that sin always seems so real, so present and overwhelming when we're tempted? Virtue becomes an ethereal breath that is barely felt while vice overpowers. Once it's over, the sin turns from what seems to be a luscious spring of necessity to ash. Dirty ash from a bowling alley ash tray.

Why can't we see it for what it is when it comes so close? Why is virtue seemingly so distant?

Can you tell I recently fell from grace?

At times like these, I can understand the temptation to believe in the Calvinist doctrine of utter depravity. Sometimes it feels that way, but that is just what it is, a temptation. There is too much good in between to believe we're depraved.

I am a sinner.

Sin takes something good and twists it, breaks it, and changes it. There is an element of good still in it which the heart desires but the twisting causes the heart to miss the mark.

I think I might, might, post each time I sin big time. That might give me some accountability or at least give you some perspective.