It's been a long weekend. I spent it with a wonderful friend who I don't see very often. We worked the whole weekend until this afternoon. Then we went to Mass at the Cathedral. I was pretty drained from working intensely for a couple of days and so was she. However, after Mass she was PUMPED just about God and Life. Now, for her, this isn't all that new. She's an intense individual who is very joyful. I, on the other hand, was not too pumped. I remained pretty lame, tired and such.
This made me think. They were talking about being so full of Joy. This was evident without their comments. But, my point is that I haven't felt that in a long time. And you know what...that sucks...
I am tempted whenever I think about this. I'm tempted to be prideful and think that because I'm holy I can take it. Which, clearly is not the case. I'm also tempted towards dispair.
Both of these temptations are obviously gravely disordered. It is still difficult.
Right now, we're at her apartment and several of us are singing praise songs. She just said that "St. Gianna said that if we have Jesus in our hearts, we will bear Joy." This is probably true. I've been running for a while. It's time to head back. I don't know how.
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